How to Remain in Control

Saturday, January 30, 2016

I often forget that the only person I have control over is "self."  I cannot control my husband, my children, my ex-husband, my students, my friends, my family, my co-workers, etc.  I only have control over "Cassandra."  Even though I cannot control others and their actions, I have the absolute control over how I respond.  I cannot control being mistreated or lied on by someone.  Nevertheless, I am lucky that I can control whether or not I accept, reject, or even ignore things done towards me.  I have a choice to reject someone telling me that I am not going to be successful as a divorced mother of three children. I have a choice to reject someone who tells me I work too hard and will not succeed.  

Before I make my decision about what to do with the treatment, I must swim in a sea of silence. This silence helps me to make the choice to reject, ignore, or to accept what happens to me.  Stillness allows you to process what is going on in your life at that moment.  Bathing in censorship helps you to avoid making an irrational choice or behaving irrationally.  Silence helps you to act in a logical manner to increase the probability that you will not regret your actions. 
Realizing that I can control how I feel directly influences my self-confidence and self-esteem. The power is mine. I had to regain control over me and my thoughts.  I refuse to allow the mean words or hateful gestures of others to dictate how I feel.  I dictate how I feel.  Remember that people disappoint you all the time.  A friend will stop talking to you, offend you, insult you, etc. The response to this friend can determine the amount of power that you give to them.  Do not linger on your response to certain behaviors.  Once you deal with it, LET IT GO.  Move on with your life.  The person, who did you harm, has not given a second thought to your feelings.  I believe that you should not either.


Life is too short.  Divorce is not the end of the world.  Trust me I know.  Acknowledge your feelings and focus on being the best you that you can be.  Be happy.  No matter what... BE HAPPY. 
My advice to you:  Never allow anyone to control you. Your life may not be perfect, but you can always control how you feel.  Stop giving the power to someone else.  You are in control of you.

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