Inspired Transparency

Monday, December 02, 2013

Have you ever read something that inspired, enlighten, and provoked something in you because of transparency?

I just read a blog post that  did just that.  I suggest you read it: http://tysonjxn.tumblr.com/post/68805835167/love-and-happiness

I believe that the transparency revealed in this blogpost probably screams what so many people are feeling right now.  Having married and divorced under the age of 30, I never was exposed to dating.  Even though I am extremely proud of my intellect and scholarly ability, when it comes to dating, I am DUMB and LOST.  Interestingly enough,  the post explains so many things and brings clarity.  I now understand the men whom I have encountered and motivated by a little "Bump and Grind."

Having witnessed the image of true love and companionship,  I have this undeniable desire to have exactly what my parents have... true love, found in the realm of unexpected, desired companionship.  Yet, with the 21st century dangling sex, lust, and polyamory, what chances do I have to swallow the joy of being more than a "girl with a big booty" or a desperate, divorced woman with three children?

Being divorced and dating is probably one of the hardest things I have done, since filing for a divorce.  With the era of Facebook, Twitter, and other social media,  dating is pure hell, especially if one of the reasons for divorce is infidelity. Being paranoid about being "too transparent," "too authentic," and "too genuine" whispers in your ear, every time you being the "dating dance."

Today, as I was running my errands, I was provided evidence that I am an equal opportunity dater.  I have given chances to men that a whore probably wouldn't even give a second glance.  So after reading his post, maybe if I was more shallow, I would fall in the lap of companionship.  In contrast, I wonder if I have missed my opportunity for unconditional love due to shallowness.

Does being divorce act as a precursor to a lack of companionship? I am wearing the "Scarlet D," tattooed on my forehead.   Yet, I know of people, who are on their second, shoot, third marriage.  I really want to pick their brains and try to understand what exactly is going on... Maybe, I need to leave that alone.  I am not looking for marriage.  I desire companionship.  Someone people think that is one and the same. Nah.

Anyway, I have seen men, who appeared to be interested, and they would start to approach and noticed the beaming eyes of my three children and make an about-face.  Is it shallowness that make them turn around? Is it shallowness that doesn't allow me to explain why I am single?  Is it shallowness that doesn't allow me the opportunity to explain that my children's father is actively involved in their lives, and they don't need a father figure."

Ironically, I tend to meet men, who do not have children. Why? I have no idea.  There is an immediate imbalance.  I have to plan.  They do whatever, whenever.  They tend not to understand the responsibilities associated with motherhood or being a single parent.  They cringe at the slightest inkling of noise, when we are on the phone.  The noise that I don't know how to explain because I am oblivious to  it most of the time.  I am the queen of multi-tasking, so I am able to balance between the two.

Even though his post proves that there are men, who are looking for someone to share life with,  the gap still remains.  Not too many men are readily going to admit there flaws and what they believe is necessary for them to prepare for the woman of their dreams, while actually improving. Where they do that at? Right!?

Perhaps, dating would be easier if everyone played the same game.  Yet, right now, everyone is playing a game, which rules are only familiar to the person, who created the game.

Find a mirror.  Staring into the mirror, do you see what others see in you? Do you see what you were suppose to be? Are you completely honest with yourself and those around you?

Tyson's post was so on point... make sure you follow his blog!





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