Controlling Thoughts

Sunday, March 17, 2013

I have decided to change some things in my life.  This month marks two years since I started this blog.  I think somewhere along the way I have lost some of my transparency.  I am starting to be consumed by the voids I feel that exist in my life.

However, things are so much better than they were. The beginning of this month and parts of February felt like the end of the world mixed with the joy of life.  How is that possible? I had an abundance of great things happen countered by an abundance of negative things happen.

Today, I woke up just contemplating everything.  Why is it that what we deem to be so important really isn't important at all?  I have been reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, and I have recognized that much of what consumes me is based on my thoughts.  I really need to work on controlling my thoughts.

Since deciding to slow down my life and just take things as they come, I start to let my thoughts consume me in these unfamiliar periods of quiet.  This morning, I felt the need to pray. I felt the need to pray for my thoughts and pray for the nagging consumption of the presence of certain voids.

So funny how we often forget where we have come from once we are in a better place.  Life has such a sense of humor sometimes, and often that is at my own expense.

I am also thinking that I may need to go into seclusion.  I have to start back appreciating doing things with myself.  I have forgotten how much fun things were in the past when I took myself on dates and just enjoyed the things I wanted to do with myself.

What thoughts are controlling you right now? What thoughts have you searching and looking for something in your life?

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