Methodology of Dating

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Lately, I've had an interest in understanding the "Dating World." So many websites are dedicated to relationships, dating, and love. Even the Mississippi Department of Human Services has a component called "Healthy Marriage."  Magazines have relationship and dating columns, even CNN website possess articles on dating and relationships in its "Living" section. So why is there so much "hoopla," surrounding dating, relationships, and love?

Yesterday, I participated in an online Twitter discussion, using the hashtag #truthchat. The discussion topic for last night was polyamory or #poly. Polyamory is defined as being intimately involved with two or more people with their consent. Here is Webster's definition. Last night was my first time becoming familiar with the topic. I find it quite interesting that some people are able to find more than one partner to love and be intimately involved, and I don't have one person...(that is another blogpost). I think that polyamory is a concept, which involves a lot of work. I have several jobs, school, three children, and etc... To be able to juggle, one relationship successfully would be a feat for me, but to juggle two successfully and have a life is beyond comprehensible for me. Have you heard of polyamory? Have you ever been involved in a polyamory relationship? What are your thoughts about polyamory relationships?

Then this morning, I heard an advertisement for a Speed Date Event in Jackson called, "Single in the Sip." According to the radio advertisement, the event is for the sophisticated professionals. Hmm... I wonder how many of them will actually be professional? The event costs $20. So, who goes to a Speed Dating Event? Are they unattractive recluses, like the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are they social rejects and misfits? When you go speed dating is there pressure involved? What happens when you go to a speed dating event and no one is interested in you?  Needless to say, I don't have the answers. I have never been to one, but I am curious. However, my face will not be in the place on Sunday.

So, I am beginning to wonder if you have to possess a methodology to date. There are websites like eHarmony and Plenty of Fish available, which are suppose to help the dating misfits right?! or are they? I joined eHarmony for the FREE of course, but I never actually paid for it. Somehow, I don't see the value in paying for it. However, I am now curious about the paid membership. I did join Plenty of Fish after hearing it on my XM radio. I thought it was pretty neat, mainly because it was FREE. Yeah, but you do get what you pay for or do you? I did have one date from the site. We met at my favorite spot, Starbucks. We sat outside and played Dominoes and Scrabble, while the rain played a wonderful mellow tune. The next day, we went hiking on the Natchez Trace. I was floored. I really enjoyed myself. We talked for about a week afterward, but the frequency of calls and texts diminished between us until there were none.  I do know he was not pleased with my busy schedule.  I am not surprised. :) However, it only took one jerk to motivate me to deactivate my account. Should I have just blocked him and kept it moving on to the next... probably so, but I didn't. I generalized them all. I have had the pleasure of going on a few dates, mostly with men, who are from my past. Some were extremely fun, and some were blah.

Since I have not met Prince Charming, I am wondering if I should have a methodology in order to be a successful dater. The researcher in me is considering devising a hypothesis and testing it out. Maybe I should develop a case study. Yep, I'm a nerd.

Seriously though, I think my different outlook on life now, since my divorce, is forcing me to develop a strategy to maneuver through this world of dating.  My tolerance level is extremely low. I mean real low. I have expectations. They are probably too high. I have my wants, which I don't plan on compromising.

What do you think? Should you have a methodology to date? Should you just go with it and whatever happens? I really think I am going to hang up my dating coat and let it collect dust. Share your thoughts. I can't wait to hear what you are thinking.

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