Dating After Divorce

Sunday, November 27, 2011

After years of being in an often complicated and dysfunctional relationship, I am back on the market for dating. I'm learning that this phenomenon of dating is extremely complicated and difficult.  My self-esteem has been boosted tremendously by my divorce, but I'm worried about possessing the skills and ability to date and be in a relationship. Having a different outlook on life, due to my past life experiences, I don't have an overflowing pool of single men to indulge in right now. Since I have been officially single, the number of real dates I have been on are surprisingly low. I'm also learning that my old-fashinoed perception of dating doesn't necessarily coincide with the current trend of the word, "dating." I've grown so much that I know my self-worth and know how much I have to offer in a relationship. I'm kind, intelligent, strong, affectionate, caring, authentic, and genuine. I expect the same in return. Unfortunately, this expectation isn't exactly helping me to be the "date-able" kind. I can't lower my expectations. I just don't see me benefitting from being a desperate and insecure woman. What man could benefit from me being insecure and desperate? I think the answer is none.  I am petrified to open up again.  I don't want to fall in the trap of exposing who I am to end up being taken advantage of, rejected, or hurt. However, I want to open up and be a part of a relationship. I want to experience a relationship, which is not dysfunctional.  I want to experience how it would be to be in a relationship with a man, who compliments me and I compliment him.

What is your opinion on dating in the 21st century? How have you dealt with dating after divorce? What advice do you have for me?

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