Thinking

Monday, June 13, 2011

Today, my children are leaving me. They are leaving to spend the week with their father. Thinking about them being away for so long is sad. Even though they were gone some time last summer, this is different. Last summer, I was unhappily married, but still married.  Last summer, they went to Disney World. I did not go because my ex decided that since he was paying for everything he could choose where we stayed, which was with his brother and his wife. Honestly, none of his family has been my cup of tea. I am sure they felt the same about me. If they didn't feel that way, they sure demonstrated it. There was no way I was going to stay with them for a week.

Yet, this week is different. Even though, I should look at it the same.  It's just different because of the circumstances. He/they are not obligated to call and check in every day. No pictures forwarded of the happenings. Just the silence of my phone to remind me of what once was.

So this week, I am going to make an effort to start over. I am going to use this opportunity to embrace what I know and what I want to know. I am going to start working on my SMART goals. I am going to unpack and organize my apartment. I am going to use the separation as motivation to improve me.

As the days go by, I am fine with being at home. I am doing okay with being in a place of peace and quiet. I am doing okay knowing that each day I can "start over" and achieve more.

Since being accepted into two PHD programs and having the opportunity to make a decision of which one is a better fit, I am learning that things are going to fall into place. I might not be where I want to be now or enjoying things I feel I should be enjoying, but slowly but surely I am getting there. The key though is to actually enjoy the ride, which I can say, thus far I haven't been doing such a good job at enjoyment. I am learning though.

So what are some SMART goals you have? How are you addressing lifestyle changes?

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