Struggling and Straining

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Struggling to drive by the convenience stores, grocery stores, and fast food restaurants, I felt the strain to purchase SOMETHING that would make me feel better and less irritable.  Ironically, I made another day of not spending money. However, today was beyond rough.  Getting to work for a departmental meeting, I arrived unfocused and a little irritated. Trying to ignore the apparent irritation written ALL over my face, I cringed at the thought of the overload of work beckoning my name during the meeting. Then, I started to feel the ache, which even at this point, I still have a tightness in my chest.

I haven't had an asthma attack in so long. I am so proud of myself. Yet, today I knew one was coming. Using my emergency inhaler (the main one I never got the prescription filled too arrogant - believing that I didn't need it), I prayed I wouldn't get sick at work. The pumps of the inhaler didn't help the tightness in my chest. Immediately, I recognized the harsh reality...I AM STRESSED.

Thankfully, I managed through the day without soothing my stress with the reliever of spending money on things like Starbucks Energy drinks or chocolate bars. Man, what I wouldn't do for a King Size Hershey's Almond Bar right now. Okay, focus Cassandra. Smh.

I  even helped a lady at the credit union save money. She wanted a bottled water. I overheard the conversation and went to my car trunk and gave her the water.  Sometimes, I am thoughtful before I realize I am. Blame my parents for instilling in me the importance of being helpful and caring.

Just hate that right now I am so tensed. The only way I am used to soothing my extreme levels of stress is through buying. Sadly, I have to work on ways to reduce my levels of stress for the low low, also known as FREE.  Last night should have happened tonight. The ballroom dancing was so great.

Today probably won't end until about 2 am. I have schoolwork due tonight. I teach class until 8:50. Then I have drive to the daycare to get my children and then home, which usually end up being about an hour and a half drive.  I like my schedule though. I like being busy. I like feeling the adrenaline pumping, when I am trying to make deadlines and get so many things accomplished in my day.

Yet, my body is saying otherwise. My eyes ache from the hours of time spent reading and reading on electronic devices.  I can't wait to get my glasses soon. Two weeks are so long after an eye exam. I am exhausted. I know that all this hardwork though is not in vain. Being an educator and professor is just so rewarding.

What do you do when you feel stressed? I need some free recommendations.

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2 comments

  1. Wish I could free suggestions on stress relievers, but my solution is retail therapy. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! This month of not spending has been HARD! However, it has not been as hard because I really didn't have much to spend due to my new transition. I hope I can be good next month! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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