Beginning to an End

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Wow! What a day today? Don't really know exactly where to start, but I will do my best to enlighten you on the happenings of my life...

First, I spent money today. Yet, it was a unexpected necessity for my safety, my children's safety, and my sanity.  The money spent went towards new accommodations and living arrangements.  This will be an adjustment, but I am willing to give up what I hold dearly to my heart in order to be able to continue functioning.  Additionally, I did purchase food to go for the trip to see my parents' today.  That also was a necessity.  However, as I sit in Square Books in Oxford typing this blogpost and surrounded by books screaming for me to purchase them, I am not tempted.

The dire events today taught me so much.  You cannot rely on the justice or legal system to rescue you. You have to use your own knowledge and understanding to make the right decision.  No matter how hard the decision may be and how uncomfortable it may make you, you must look at the end of the rainbow and focus on the overall goal, which I have begun to do. Also, functioning solely on emotional feelings can definitely cloud your judgment. Remaining calm, cool, and collected can have an abundance of benefits (some of which you cannot see in the beginning). I learned that the Domestic Violence hotline is available. If you didn't know, here is the number 1-800-799-SAFE.  They just listen. Sometimes people don't want anyone to do anything but listen.

Consequently, I learned that blaming myself for actions someone else decides to take is not the right thing to do. I am only responsible for the actions I partake in. Another lesson I learned is to never be ashamed of the mishap and extenuating circumstances going on in your life.  Don't keep your mouth shut. Tell your friends what is going on. Since I shared with my friends what happened today, an outpour of thoughtfulness and connections were put in place. Keeping a close circle of friends informed can be the best thing that you ever do.

Thanks to being conservative with my spending I was able to take the necessary actions to start the beginning of a new closing a dark chapter in my life. After almost ten years of enduring so much, I feel free. I feel free to embrace life. I feel free to appreciate what I have and prepare for what is in store for my life.

This morning I cried and cried and cried. This afternoon I thought and thought and thought. This evening I am thankful and thankful that I did not jeopardize what God has in store for my life. When the lights go out tonight at my parents' house, I will be able to sleep knowing that tomorrow I will be headed in a new direction towards something better. Before you close your eyes, please say a prayer for me and my three children. The journey ahead will not be easy, but I am ready to take this road towards true fulfillment. Good night.

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4 comments

  1. Nothing but good things in store for you and your children. You already did the hardest part and I admire you for doing it!

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  2. I applaud you for transitioning to safety and embracing change. You and your children will definitely be rewarded for your actions.

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  3. As the days go back, it is not as hard as it could be! Thanks for the encouragement!

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